Friday, March 12, 2010

Finicky Fred

Or in this case, Mike.
So I'm writing this blog largely about food, but I should explain something before continuing with all the recipes.

I have forgotten how to cook.

No, really. I don't remember how I used to cook when I was single. I'm sure I used things like vinegar and mustard all the time, but because those are two things Mike can't stand the smell or taste of, I have had to work around them. And now I forget about them sometimes when I'm cooking for myself. But more often I just can't serve a recipe I see because it contains something Mike won't touch.
And I have tried sneaking minute amounts of dijon mustard into Croque Monsieurs and he still tastes it and won't touch it. And I usually need his services as plate-cleaner at the end of meals, so I don't want to make myself something he won't eat. (My eyes are bigger than my stomach. What can I say?)

A sampling of Things Mike Won't Eat:
Salad Dressing In ANY Form
Sour Cream
(let's just say all condiments except the occasional ketchup & BBQ)
Onion Soup
Tuna (the mayo)
Raw Tomato
and other stuff I can't think of at the moment because it's too frustrating.

I do not know how he survived before I met him, because he did not eat anything healthy. I sometimes have to trick him by putting the frozen chopped spinach in a baked ziti so it blends with the tomato and ricotta and he doesn't taste it, like tricking a little kid. I had to twist his arm to convince him that he would enjoy broccoli if I roasted it, if he would just TRY it. And now he eats it all the time. So, He Can Be Taught. It just takes a bit of convincing.
We have been together for 6 years now and he has come a long way as far as trying things and branching out, but it has been an uphill battle. If he had his way, I think Mike would only eat BBQ Bacon Cheeseburgers and Tater Tots, with French Fries as a swap. And there is nothing wrong w/ a BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger... I have frequently stated my love of bacon. But that should not be a regular meal for a person who wants to live past age 50.

So that, dear readers, is why the dinner recipes I post may seem to have tunnel vision. I have a finicky, Meat and Potatoes Man in the house, and it's taking time to break him of his habits and dislikes.
I really hope that some day I can finish a dish with a balsamic drizzle again. You have no idea how much I miss balsamic vinegar. I could drink the stuff, I love it so much. But it's the kind of thing that lingers on the breath, so if I have it at lunch, Mike can tell when he kisses me hello after work. So, a good tip if I'm annoyed with him and want to keep him at arm's length, but not something I want to do regularly.

All I can say is, thank heaven he likes garlic & isn't a Lactard*, cuz that would have been a deal breaker!

*For those who don't know, some people cannot process dairy foods. Their bodies just do not like it and it is very unpleasant for them to try to digest it at all. This is a great shame, because there are oh so many lovely cheeses and cream sauces to be had. (No, Suzanne, I still do not believe that something made out of pistachios can be considered "cheese".) These people are usually referred to as Lactose Intolerant. But that is a long phrase, and makes them sound like they don't LIKE dairy, and Intolerance is not something that should be practiced. So instead, I call them Lactards. And I say it with love, and pity. Lots and lots of pity.


Melissa's Espresso Shot said...

My husband is the same way. He ate very few vegetables before we were married unless it was a potato in the form of a french fry.
Since we've been married I've introduced him to things like asparagus which he now likes. This week I introduced him to Pumpernickel bread and now he wants me to buy that all the time. There are some things he still won't eat though; mushrooms, brussel sprouts, and turnip greens to name a few.
We are both lactards however. But we still eat cheese, no matter the cost.

Joe Ambrosino said...

What a pill! And I thought my wife who is a vegetarian who will not eat bitter greens or most fruit (which she describes as sour)was difficult to cook for. He is obviously NOT Italian.

Lily Ruth's Mama said...

My husband was a picky eater out of self defense when I met him. He thought that he hated most foods. As it turns out, it's just that his mom was such a terrible cook that he only disliked her cooking, not food. It's been fun to watch him turn into a foodie over the years. Maybe Mike will be able to turn it around for himself... and your palate's sake :-)