Thursday, March 4, 2010

3-Piece Sexy

Why on Earth did the 3-piece suit ever go out of style? Really, we've survived the Zoot Suits, the 70's polyester and Lapels of Death, and the Double-Breasted phenomenon (which comes back on occasion but slightly less Captain & Tennille in form), so can we get back to the good fashion again already?!?!

It is so classy, and solves the problem of looking to casual when you chivalrously lend your coat to a chilly lady, because you have your swanky vest, possibly outfitted w/ a watch-fob-chain piece.

Plus, who would you rather hang out with:

Bachelor # 1
Or Bachelor #2
Bachelor #1
Or Bachelor #2 (minus the pleather-clad chick, obviously...)

It's just such an automatically classy and sexy look. Mike agrees with me and wears vests to work some days, but I'm damned if I don't wish he had a reason to wear a 3-piece suit more often!
Brad Pitt knows what I'm talking about!
See! Smart man (if, possibly, completely destroyed by choice of partner.) But clearly understands fashion, no matter what freaky Man of the Mountain beard he has to sport for a part.

Even this actress from "House" spent a solid season wearing the vest-pantsuit uniform, which was a fabulous choice for her emaciated frame (unlike when she later went blonde... blah.)
Now let us just enjoy some other lovely pictures:

A bit outdated, but it was the 1880's

Oh my.

Did I mention I was excited for this to come out on DVD already?
No matter how I may digress... I think I have a valid point. There is a time for casual dress, and for tuxedos, and for jeans and a t-shirt, but for those other occasions, 
in the immortal words of Barney Stinson:

Re: the first comment below.
I would not use Danzig as your fashion roll-model. A man who wears a net tank as his on stage persona is not one to be admired, fashionably speaking.
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Waaaaaay too much Exhibit B

Even if you are implying you are terribly buff, or just looking for a male version of "zaftig" a vest is a good look. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson would look great in a 3-piece suit, and we're all happy when Dan Aykroyd contains his paunch within the confines of a vest.
I was just going to link to this picture, but then decided I couldn't let that Right Said Fred picture be the last image on this page...

Dan Aykroyd: one time Ghostbuster, ex-Spy, Blues Brother, & Conehead, now brings you vodka in a skull and ice wine.
He doesn't look like he likes it...
But he IS wearing a 3-piece suit, so it's gonna be  alright.
So long as he remembers Winston's advice I keep at the top of my blog...


BenTheMan said...

Vests don't work for someone with my Danzigesque build. You need to be slender, or at least have an identifiable torso.

Jennifer said...

Actually, a vest can help define the torso and slim the waist. You'll just want a deeper V at the top (as opposed to the vests that button up practically to your chin) to give you the longer line visually.

BenTheMan said...

Well, usually Danzig doesn't even bother with the shirt--it's just the leather pants and the demon-skull belt.

The other reason they were originally thinking of casting Danzig as Wolverine--in addition to the general rippeditude--is that he is, in fact, 5'4".

Vests are never cut right for short, ripped dudes with no torso--they give us paunch where there is none, and make us look like Jed Bartlett.

RocknRollGourmet said...

Jed Bartlett is a very dapper, if somewhat short and paunchy to begin with, gentleman.

And Jenn, as usual, is correct in her assessment.

I'm terribly sorry if you cannot find a vest to show off your girlish waistline. Maybe you can audition for Jersey Shore Season 2 and then you don't have to wear a shirt at all!

BenTheMan said...

Dammit you're right. I was really hoping I could find a pic of MS rocking the 3-piece in which he did not look so fucking Dapper Dan.

Still, at my age I should be looking more Captain Ben Willard than JB.

You can call me "The Consecration."