Wanted: See Below

I have not had the patience to sit down and write up anything about last week's cooking marathon and ensuing wedding, so instead I'm going to show you the newest kitchen item I don't need and yet covet.

Those are nesting stoneware measuring bowls available at West Elm, and something tells me that my crappy fire engine red plastic measuring cups, which have been entirely serviceable for the past decade, are about to meet the recycling bin...

Sorry kids.

They're prettier than you.

I guess I'm just shallow like that.

Tea For ?

How cute is this?

A sweet little teapot that reminds me of some kind of helpful pachyderm... that happens to have an ergonomic knob coming out where its ear should be.

But still, adorable, and available here.

However, if this coffee pot matches your kitchen decor, something tells me you don't actually need the coffee to wake you up in the morning.

Ouch.

(Available at the same store, also in red.)

Totally Pointless

Just in case anyone here doesn't know, the term "April Fool" was coined for the people who were resistant or slow to changing to the new Gregorian calendar in the 16th century (which accounted for the difference of 11 seconds of each vernal equinox from year to year by incorporating "leap day", without which over a few hundred years would throw it off by over a week) but the REAL point was that it declared New Year's Day to be January 1st, not April first.
Anyone who had not adopted the new calendar was referred to as "An April Fool".

But as far as the more modern usage of an April Fool's joke or prank, the item below might work for a gift.
Because really, even as a gift for "the person who has everything" who the hell needs silver-plated mussel extractors???

If it's THAT hard to remove the mussel, you didn't cook it correctly and shouldn't eat it anyway.
And what if you get some of those ginormous mussels? They won't fit in there!
They should at least come in varying sizes if you want to pretend that these are practical.
Sheesh.

However, if you need to keep your dainty digits clean while scarfing your shellfish and you just can't live without one, you can find them here.

His 'n' Hers

Michael Cain has been quoted as saying "The secret to a happy marriage is separate bathrooms."

Now, I don't think that's the secret to my happy marriage, as the hubs and I did not have separate bathrooms for the first 4 years we were together. But then, that was back in the ooey-gooey first flush of love stage, and then newlywed-hood, etc..
While it may not be the secret, having separate bathrooms really does cut down on possible fractious encounters over who left the toilet seat how, why the toothpaste glop in the sink wasn't rinsed off when you rinsed your mouth, where the wet towels may be, or why yesterday's underwear is still on the floor.
Not that these are issues we have in our home...

But now, for the clarity of all who may visit our home, there can be no denying from the outside (or the inside) which is the Girls bathroom and which is the Boys bathroom:

Girls

Faux & origami flowers are only temporary.

Boys

How cute are these? Seriously?

If you think they're adorable too (they're real vases, so you can put them on any wall in any combination) they are available separately at CB2 or online.

Hope you all have a Happy Valentine's Day. I just made some bacon compound-butter to go atop tonight's steak, which will be accompanied by bacon & duck fat-roasted potatoes, and peas with... bacon.

Guess what the hubs's favorite food is?

P.s. - Tomorrow is my birthday. Feel free to let the love continue for another 24 hrs...

Fan of Clams

(Continuation of Linguine alla Vongole)

I mean, she is a cat.
But these pics just made me laugh, so I thought I'd share them.
Also, fun with my new camera.

Oh look! Seafood.

Underwater.

Damn.

I hate water.

I want the seafood under the water.

Or I could just eat your face.

Did I mention that my camera goes into auto-macro mode?

This was just a lucky random shot.

Unless you're not a cat person in which case you're just been far too up-close-and-personal with a feline.

Apologies.

(Not really.)

But if you really look you can see the reflection of me holding the camera in her pupil, which is kind of cool.

Also, she's smart enough to do your Trig homework for you, but only if you can translate her sequence of breathy-squeaks, and I dare you to get past "I want this/something."

(Note: Dad's out of ICU! So I thought I could post something goofy.)

I Earned It!

OK, I said I'd stay away until the New Year rolled around, but I just couldn't resist sharing what a dear friend sent to me in a Christmas card this year:

How cute is that?!

I was never a Girl Scout as a child. I was too busy playing softball, riding horses, and dancing after school to be part of any other organization. Plus I hate uniforms for the most part, as well as people who sell things door to door.

However, I am so very very proud to have earned this honorary Cooking Merit Badge.

At least, I've earned it according to Beth.

And she's a very smart girl.

So I'm just gonna go with it, and it is now hanging in my kitchen!

Thanks again, lady, and Happy Holidays!

(& Happy Birthday Beth!!!!)

And for those of you still snowed-in, I feel your pain. As we were originally snowed-in in NJ, I spent my day making French Onion Soup and roasting 2 chickens. When we finally felt the need to get back home to NYC, it took a Jeep in very slow traffic to a train, which was then shifted off track to another station that it was not supposed to go to (I saw flames on the snow-covered tracks as we passed them but I doubt that was the reason, but still, FLAMES on SNOW-COVERED tracks. WTF?!?!) which lead us to the PATH train as suddenly NJ Transit was not leaving NJ, which then dumped us in the wrong part of Manhattan, and we then walked in the wrong direction carrying 4 bags and 2 cats, as though we were freakin' TOURISTS! 

So we had to take 2 more packed local trains home.

But we made it.

And all is well.

Merry Merry.

Stay warm.

And pay young people to shovel for you.

All Abooooooooard!!!!!

I'm not exactly sure what the Rally for Sanity/Rally for Fear was supposed to accomplish, tho John Stewart's parting words were spot-on and made me a bit weepy and wistful. 

(Seriously, why are reasonability, sanity, compassion and kindness so difficult to practice?)

But if nothing else, the rally made for one truly wonderful moment.

I tried to crop Ozzy's gut out of this screen capture...

I have sung Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" many times.

Growing up, I listened to a lot of Cat Stevens/Yusuf, including "Peace Train".

Seeing them "battle" on stage and leave arm in arm was, in a word, FANTASTIC!

And yes, following that with "Love Train" basically had me dancing in my living room.

Good messages.

Good feelings.

Hope.

End Selfishness.

Things I TOTALLY NEED. No Really. I NEED Them!

So......... I had a date with a dear friend tonight, but before that happened I:
Put away groceries
Washed dishes
Polished various tarnishing kitchen items and vases
Washed the dark polish smudges off my shirt
Cleaned the kitty litter
Vacuumed the hallway, living room, and couch cushions
Broke up cardboard boxes
Dropped off the hubs' broken badass boots at Fluevog for repair
Dropped off my dying 2002/2003 limited edition Fluevogs for repair (mine have purple embroidered flowers climbing up the side rather than the sexy slit... they are my FAVORITE)
Stopped at Sur la Table to pick up one or two necessary things...
And then I found:

My new favorite pointless purchase:

FYI "aglio" is Italian for garlic

HOW CUTE IS THIS?!?!?!!

And of course I already had enough garlic at home to fill it right from the get-go. I might have to break heads in the future if I have more to store!!!

Still, I'm impressed that I managed to walk out of Sur la Table with only this, a new container for drying silverware, a folding electronic meat thermometer (I don't own a single thermometer!), salve for butcher's blocks, and narrow rectangular measuring spoons that fit inside spice jars.

Pretty thrifty by my standards!!!

But still... isn't that container just TOO CUTE?!?!

Kitchen Supply Stores are to me as Tanning Beds and Liquid Eyeliner are to the abomination that is the cast of Jersey Shore.

Only my IQ doesn't drop every time I open my mouth...

No, really kids. 

Put your money in the bank, fade to a human color, WASH YOUR F*CKING HAIR, and take some freakin' elocution lessons.

I'm out.

F*ck Frisée

I'm on a venting bender, I warn you.

Evil Roughage Trying To Take Over The World

I am so f*cking tired of being served Frisée. WHY is this a good thing to serve everywhere from frou-frou restaurants to Green Market rustic joints? Because it's "interesting to look at" as I read on one site discussing its use?

The Pretty To Look At Diet must work wonders.
Right up until you starve to death.

If it's pretty to look at, just plant it in your damned garden and let the deer eat it.

(Betcha they don't, tho!)

Even deer won't eat me!

I don't want to waste my time or calories on food that does not taste great. I do not eat so that I live. I live to eat. I am ALWAYS thinking about my next meal. And sometimes even the one after that.
I try to eat balanced meals whenever possible. In fact I do most of the time, but the idea of eating just so you have the energy to get through your day/life is just sad to me.
Which is why I do not understand the overabundance of Frisée on restaurant plates.
- It's bitter
- It's hard to stab with a fork
- It does not have a pleasant mouth feel
- It is difficult and costly to produce
- It doesn't even have nutritional value as a vegetable!!!

GET IT OFF MY DAMNED PLATE!!!!!


Serve me ANY of the following in ANY combination:
Spinach
Arugula
Butter Lettuce
Boston Lettuce
Bibb
Swiss Chard
Red Leaf
Green Leaf
Kale
Mâche
Romaine
Hell even ICEBERG is better than Frisée.

Endive survives solely to be stuffed full of things that distract from the bitterness so you just enjoy the crunch and its handy boat-like shape.

But I say BAN THE FRISEE!!!!!

P.S. - raw Radicchio can go f*ck itself too. Everyone picks that shit out of their salad anyway.

End rant.

Mama's Got A Brand New... Mitt

I have Jury Duty today. Considering that last time I was called for Jury Duty they made us all sit in a room, watch a video of a "witch trial" and how things may or may not have changed since then, and then denied us food, water, and telephones for hours on end, I consider Jury Duty to be Grown-Up Detention.

Since my day shall be as boring as watching paint dry, I thought I'd toss in an appropriately dull post.
Ahem:

You know you need new oven mitts when yours look like this:

Stuffing coming out of the thumb. 

Stuffing coming out of the forefinger. 

Generally decrepit and gross. Oven Mitt Fail.

While my Dansk mitts served me well for about 8 years, they have been deep-sixed in favor of the spankin' new 17" mitts that have taken their place hanging inside the cabinet by the stove.

And yes, I need the long mitts. 

I like the flesh of my forearms to stay on my forearms. 

Intact and with the promise of future freckling.

That is all.

A Change Will Do You Good... Or Not

Ok, I tried changing up my background to make things more interesting. However, I do not think it helps my photos "pop" at all... anyone hate it? Anyone prefer it?
Should I go back to the old?

I would very much like to change the color and font of my blog posts, but can't seem to figure that part out yet. Damn.

Let me know you're 2¢ on the change in background... as with painting my nails, I have serious issues deciding if I like a color I'll have to deal with on a daily basis. This is even harder.

My desktop picture changes every few hours. I wish I could do that with the background image of my blog!
You hear that Template Designers!!!

Patterns In The Universe

Found this photo on my camera from a while back. I had placed a pat of butter in some olive oil in a pan to melt for whatever I was about to sauté, and it melted in the following pattern:

      I thought it was so cool looking I grabbed my camera right away.

It's like a snowflake made of butter!

Not too far off.

A Spiral Butter Galaxy :)

Oh the amount of cardio you'd have to do...